And so time has passed...

For my devout four followers, my apologies for not writing in so long.
I have on been on life and love overload.
And for the first time in my life, I let myself be in each and every moment instead of trying to document it.
(Well, except for my Facebook status update addiction...let's be real.)

Life has been busy and blissful.
I feel that days bleed together with a haze of kisses and cuddly mornings, big dinners with friends, clean kitchen floors, clothes piling up on carpets, and tons and tons of tissues - since I've found myself sick quite a bit lately.

But on days like today where I can breathe through my nose and afford groceries, everything seems right.

Viola is growing rapidly and although we took a bit of a break from one another in February, we seem to be back in action! With walks to the park and mastering animal faces and sounds, it is more and more apparent just how smart babies are.

I also feel that I learned a great deal of compassion and hope in February from when my grandma Sally fell ill with pnemonia. An ordeal that changed us all and seemed to last forever. Hours in the hospital feel like days and days feel like weeks and I watched my poor mother, watch her poor mother and felt entirely helpless.
We hugged, cried and ate the time away. Now that grandma is back in her apartment, it's hard to believe how scared we all were that things were so close to...well, we never will really know.

Summer brings hope of kickball, backyards, barbq's and bike rides. Weddings and well wishes that some day I will get the courage to write. And many, many, many more days spent loving him like I have always dreamed of...

Meghan has planted many things all over the apartment and signs of life are around us every day.
The light shines in from our big, beautiful windows and the sprouts grow taller and taller, reaching for the sky...
When I came home sharing stories of things I had helped teach Viola one day...she said to me..
"See...you like growing things too."

Epiphany and I find joy in early morning and late night conversations. While we shower and brush our teeth, we hollar expressions of joy and sadness from our seperate bedrooms through the hallway...

And Olivia and I?
Well we write one another love letters and call with cries and laughter about hope and loss.
I sleep in her mothers house and cuddle her cat who stays up late when Olivia gets into trouble.
I dream of holding her in my arms, of cocktails and lipgloss.
Of boys we used to crush with looks...

My days of all black uniforms are numbered.
Someday soon I will be free from the smell of curry and crude kitchen staff.
I will wear flowery shirts and leggings, I will be able to be myself...
And the music? It will be what I would listen to on sunny afternoons.


Life my friends.
Is a beautiful, terrifying, fast changing thing.
I am grateful every day for the health of my family and myself.
For my heart and my smile.
For my ability to see the good in nearly everyone.
For the voice I have to sing.

Neko Case singing from the speakers...

Perfect Tacoma day.
The tree is down. We swept up its remains for what felt like hours, green needles everywhere.
Christmas decorations have been put in their propper places.
Portraits are back up. Pink throw on the coffee table.

We partied with the best of the city today at Viola's first birthday.
Artists and mommas, bike riders and glass blowers...
Ate cupcakes and drank cider from plain white mugs.
Got hugs from children we used to be.

We opened the windows and aired out our long beige walls.
There is the sound of something saute'ing in the kitchen.
And I am trying to give into the thought of something real and fabulous.
I am able to not ruin it - I tell myself.
Over and over and over again...

I slept for twelve hours and awoke to gray skies, calls from those I don't see much anymore.
Kept my head to the pillow and emerged...I needed to find a card that made music.
I brought home bagels and orange juice and we discussed "parenting" around the kitchen table.
We walked down city streets recalling days of sunshine.
We let our skin show anyway.